I have figured out what humanity wants. Humans want a voice. Humans want to be heard. When they are not heard or listened to, that is when problems occur. This is when anger is wide spread, this is because of the suppression that happens on every level. I have heard that it is dangerous to be a writer, a speaker for the people, someone to take hits and blame from the public and its officials. But I feel that this is what I am being called by God to do.
I am tired of rules and regulations. I am tired of being told I am not good enough. That I don’t matter I am not being heard. I wake up and I am told I have to be somewhere by 7:45 every morning, but have to get up extra early so I can get in line to drop my daughter off at school. I am tired of being told I am not good enough that I don’t matter. I am tired of being told that I should look at others work and imitate their works so that I can be a successful writer. I don’t want to be like anyone else. I am different. I have a unique voice that wants to be heard. I don’t want to have to write papers that have to be filled with other’s quotes and citing of sources and facts. I am a reference in and of itself, with my old soul and my life experience. We have a short life and I want to do what I want to do. I do not want to be told anymore by anyone. I will lead by example and say I am my own. If I fail, then I am only letting myself down. I am tired of being told by the judge that he doesn’t have time for this, he doesn’t have time to listen to me and my plea. I do not want to be told this anymore. I am tired of not fitting into this pretty little box that I am supposed to be because I was gifted in physical ways. I am tired of being told that I need to do this or that, and be something that I am not. I am tired of not being heard most of all. I am tired of not being listened to. I do not want to be told this anymore. I want to be listened to.
I have been rejected a lot. I’ve been rejected by a lot of men. I am tired of being told that I am not right. Being told, “I do not want a relationship with you.” Name the reason, and I have been given it or not. It is likely that I will never marry again. I have been discriminated against and shunned by younger men because I am divorced and now come with two children. I’ve been told that I remind the man I loved too much of his second wife. I’ve been given a lot of reasons, but the worst is when I am given no reason at all. Because I feel ignored, I feel hurt and rejected and like maybe I am crazy for ever wanting love. This is when all my problems happen; this is where it all starts. Not being heard.