My Feminist Rant! Keep your Goddamn Opinions to Yourself and Stop Asking For Advice

My purpose in life is to enjoy it, get fat and watch Lifetime movie channel while eating Entenmann’s Chocoloate Donut Holes. Women of the world unite!! I am so sick and tired now of asking for other’s advice. Mostly because they aren’t you! No one can really understand anyone’s situation. And even licensed psychologists get it wrong. This is because talk therapy can only get you so far, and what if, just what if, they couldn’t see the whole picture, because lets face it, we are often disillusioning ourselves, and only confide in those we trust, and even then..we hold back a lot. So if someone else can’t see the big picture, or you in it, then why should we ask for advice in the first place? Put aside our petty differences, it’s unlikely that anyone else even knows what’s up, and put in your shoes, knows the best solution to all your problems.

This is what I’ve learned these past few months. Buck up. Make decisions for yourself, stop asking others for their opinions on your life or life problems, and stop seeking validation outside of ourselves. Because we only get one life and one shot, one opportunity–as Eminem puts it.

And by the way, I’m kind of in a feminist mood right now. And I just need to say..When is it ever okay for a guy to ask you what your purpose in life is? And maybe this is just in the context of career, yet I always take these shitty statements personal. Like..I can be petty like the best of us women, but seriously? The fuck? I think It would be okay as a woman to answer this and say look, “My purpose in life, is to sit on my ass and enjoy it, perhaps while doing nothing but popping a kid out every few years and eating Lays potato chips while drinking Diet Coke and watching Desperate Housewives..because I have to sleep with your hairy ass every few days anyhow. And look! There is nothing wrong with doing nothing for a career or being a career woman. Why are we constantly being judged for relaxing on the couch for a goddamn hour and gaining a couple of pounds. These guys and their opinions need to shut the fuck up.

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Sagittarius Men and Scorpio Women Relationships: Going to Hell and Back

Anger and jealousy, passion and intensity, freedom and fighting, but so hot in the bedroom!! What is going on in these relationships?

Let’s stop pretending that any other sign gets a Scorpio. Even if they are a water heavy chart holder, Scorpio knows best and is the only one that should reveal a secret about our inner world.

It seems like the fire sign Male Sagittarius will never understand the intensity of the Scorpio woman and A Scorpion lady will never understand the Sagittarian men’s need for freedom and exploration. Perhaps the two could meld well together on another planet and create internal combustion.

But what happens when you are a Scorpio Female with Sagittarius on the Descendent and Capricorn in the 7th House? This is one of the most complicated aspects in my personal chart. It would seem that I constantly attract fire signs to myself and not even intentionally. It’s like they seek me out and think that they want to take a crack at it, but they end up getting way more than they expected and can’t handle my extreme emotions and intense feelings. Sagittarius men and women have been in numerous friendships and relationships in my life, and while a lot of them still remain friends with me, it is usually from a distance. I end up getting too hurt and tend to shut down the relationship, preferring to distance myself from the pain and humiliation that they have caused me with their flighty, backstabbing behaviors. I put Sagittarian’s flame out with my emotions and my vindictive sting hurts!

I have one good friend that is a Sagittarius female, and we are friends from a distance, never really having a close intimate friendship like I crave and want. Another one of my relationships went to shit after a negative conversation about my parenting skills, and after that it was like I couldn’t let it down (in my mind). I forgave her, but her flighty behavior and criticisms ruined any chance for me to ever trust her again. Being a Scorpio woman in this lifetime has been a difficult task for me. I have such strong Plutonian energy that it feels as if I either scare people away, or they just don’t understand me. What’s more, I really crave interpersonal connection and relationships. But more and more of the time I end up feeling lonely and wondering what I did wrong and don’t understand why I can’t seem to have the relationship I so want with another. I can’t help but take things personally. I guess that is just how I am made.

I am writing this because I know there are a lot of other Scorpio women out there that feel the same way in relationships with others and at times finding themselves in relationships that just seem plain difficult. I don’t even know why. Perhaps there is some other difficult aspect in our charts but doubtful. It’s like that wonderful song called “Issues” by Julia Michaels (another Scorpio female). “I’m jealous, I’m over zealous, when I’m high I get real high, when I’m down I get real down.”

I think I will just spend some more time in the depths of hell. I am comfortable there and it’s become a real sanctuary, as it’s so familiar. I’m naming my next daughter “Persephone” and Percy for short.

Pluto has wreaked his havoc while transiting my 7th house of partnerships for the past 10 years. In this time prior to this transit, my Uranus was conjunct Pluto on the descendant in the 6th house, which is when I first married at 19 to a Sagittarian male. As Pluto went through this house, every partnership in my life was practically destroyed, some were renewed and others just went away. I now am 1 degree away from Pluto entering my 8th house in August. I am not sure what the future holds. I am still waiting in the ashes for my transformation in my relationships. Saturn will also be having his return in December in my house of Partnerships and I am unsure of how this will play out. I have been feeling the urge to get married again, although some days when I read Facebook posts on the guy I am interested in, I second guess myself in why I even like him (He is also a Sagittarius.) And I wonder mostly am I doomed in my relationships to constantly struggle? To be alone for the rest of my life, uncommitted to anyone, because let’s face it, Sagittarians are known to promise more than they can deliver, end up lying to a Scorpio, (or at least from her perspective). (Half-truths are the same as lies in our eyes) and are typically high in the Infidelity, which is a cardinal sin in the Eyes of Scorpio! The problems in my first marriage were so numerous and I have just recently come to terms with some of them. Facing my fears as they all were brought to the surface for me to re-evaluate as Pluto has gone retrograde this summer. It dawned on me that it doesn’t even matter what is true anymore, even though Sagittarians love the truth, they can spin any story to their benefit and spread lies and gossip worse than any other sign I have ever met. It doesn’t even matter that I am an honest individual and see through the bull shit. I will never change the fact that I know what is real. I have that intuitive—depth– perception that sees the challenge and conflict right in the eye. My lie detector is so dead on and yet I keep wondering.. where is my happy ending?

Putting The Pieces Together

I’m going back to my hometown

To the place I was most happy.

I’ve been on my Odyssey, it was in my mind.

You’d think by now I’d be more complete.

Wasn’t it all supposed to be neat?

You’d think by now I’d have gotten the arrow shot.

You’d think by now I’d have manifested my dreams.

The truth is, every  door was closed.

there is only a window, with view of my lost piece

It’s somewhere back in that green grass, with those fall leaves, and that backyard trampoline.

 

Cinderella Dresses and Sweet Bees: How I know I love you. For my lover.

Today I was sitting there and it’s just like, I can’t control it anymore. I love you.

And it’s just these words that I want to tell you.

The words like Manifest and Destiny, and Love, and Losing Control in your Gaze.

That male gaze, My God it gets me going.

You are Fresh, you are MIA, I am a bright young college kid, it might as well be me, baby.

You’re unbaked now, you’re undone. Yeah I know you were high. Done being drunk, tired and stressed? Done being alone?

You’re afraid you will lose control if we are alone together, you’re that hot, sexy nervous sweating around me. I love that about you. It’s how I know you love me, it’s how I know I love you. Because I am tangled up in your desire. Flower

And should I post my theories on my blog? These energies change daily. And how do I know if I will have a girl or a boy with you? I only know if I am with you, because you will decide. Why does the male get to choose the gender of the baby? Because males have the ability to shoot the canon with their y or x chromosome.

And my great- grandma with her corn cob pipe told me so, she told me she is Comanche. She is a warrior princess queen. When you spoke those words of beauty and long hair, and her appearing as a white buffalo woman today with her visions of the future, it’s how I knew you were singing to me. That white buffalo woman came and sang for you and for me. White Buffalo woman goes singing. And I’m your Destiny’s Darling. I don’t ever want to leave you, I want you to protect me. Yeah, I’m so hot for you and only you.

What’s to be done with all of this passion and spark and fire? I  think it’s time we got together, I think it’s time we make our baby girl. You come and get your love.

It’s these Cinderella dresses that I buy to wear at The Phantom of the Opera, it’s the bees that suck the nectar from the center of the orange blossom. When April is ripe with rain, May will come to stay. May, oh, she will come to stay.

Lyrics for Hunter Hayes From The Writing Girl in Austin

Song Lyrics by Molly Farr

You, that sweet girl. Standing there

You, standing outside my window with your long brown hair.

You and that look upon your face, you stand, talking in glory and that stance of grace.

She tells me she will see me at the show tonight. She tells me of her plans to make a flight.

That girl combines religion and gospel. She sings R.E.M. and Bridge Over Troubled Water.

Chorus:

She knew it at once her love of robotics. She knew it all then with her photographic mind. Who knew I’d fall for a girl that wonders about wonders..

Who knew I’d love her love for Artificial Intelligence–Nothing at all.

She’s gone to Cali now to study Physics; she’s gone to deep space to study existence.

The Fascination with gaming and science fiction. The love of June Cash and Johnny’s Devotion.

The sweet gentle touch of my arm around your waist, I feel your vibration, I feel your taste.

She’s got plans to go back to the Chicago Museum. Where she went as a child to see George Lucas’ Creation.

That Darth Vader helmet drew inspiration.

That Storm Trooper vision that sparked her sensation.

Chorus:

She knew it at once her love of robotics. She knew it all then with her photographic mind. Who knew I’d fall for a girl that wonders about wonders..

Who knew I’d love her love for Artificial Intelligence–Nothing at all.

She’s gone to Cali now to study Physics; she’s gone to deep space to study existence.

 

April Come She Will

I heard the song last night by Simon and Garfunkel, “April Come She Will.” I know this is my daughter. I get messages in sound, music, and pictures, and visions and feelings.

A few nights ago, I went into the vortex and discovered my Akashic Record. I transcended the Earth plane, and this dimension.

I saw my soul’s purpose in this lifetime.

I know who I will marry, who I am going to marry.

I know that I am going to be an example for others, a leader, a speaker, a teacher.

I know I am going to have another baby girl, her name is April, she will be an Aries. She is one of the reasons I have come into this lifetime. To give birth to her. My God she is beautiful! She will be the next evolution of humanity, she will be an evolved human being that will surpass all and any understanding, knowledge that I  or him could ever learn in a lifetime. She is a manifestation and a symbol of the coming generation that will inhabit this earth.

I saw my new baby nephew, he is beautiful and smiley and looks just like my baby picture at 3 months. He is due May 1st, 2017.

20170327_204546

I keep having these visions of babies, and pregnancies, and I just can’t even. They are dancing in my head.

Institutions Falling, Louis C.K. “You Always Know a Tit,” and The Grapes of Wrath

Today I got a message from spirit. I felt fear, and rightly so, it came right after I got an email from my dear friend that would be talking about institutions in America crumbing at a meeting. The society is about to go through a great change, maybe this is hard for some to hear. I am not afraid though. I let the fear go, because after the energy came in, I felt it in my gut, like a lead balloon being dropped in the pit of self worth and will. The Capitalist society we are living in, the service industry, just everything is going to fall to pieces.

And any and every industry is going to feel the effects of this massive shift. It has been described by other psychics as the paradigm shift. There are fanatics and crazies everywhere that have predicted the End of the world, a Zombie Apocalypse, The book of Revelation.. blah blah. That truly is a load of poo poo. But.. This is not what I am referring to and that’s what I am trying to point out that this is a shift, not the end of times. A change is sometimes needed, an adaptation of some kind for humanity to survive and evolve into something else.

Sometimes this is something people fear because us humans are afraid of losing things. The great depression toughened that generation into resourceful, tough individuals that came out of that WWII era. This paradigm shift (let’s call it the “Divine Feminine”) is going to do the same for my generation. This shift is not something to fear. We have a bit more time to prepare for this before it really starts to hit us Americans individually. However I can say with great certainty it is going to start this December 2017 when Saturn moves into Capricorn, and then it will continue and start again in 2018 with a fervent noticeable effect over a period of the next three years. I say all of this not to evoke any sense of fear in anyone, but to enlighten those who wish to know some of the future economic and institutional changes that will occur on a global scale.

Which brings me to the Grapes of Wrath, yeah pretty much everything that was going about the shift happened to the Joads, but in a different way. The wind blew yesterday, and all I could think about was the dust bowl and the Grapes and the WWII generation and how they suffered. The scales are and will be tipping in the favor of the poor, they will come out on top again in our time just so you know.

And lastly, how does this relate at all to Louis C.K.?? Well, I was listening to the George Carlin channel on Pandora last night, my favorite comedian, and Louis C.K’s “You Always Know A Tit” bit came on and at the end he mentions how at the end of the Grapes of Wrath, a grown man breastfeeds from a young woman he just met.

EWE, so I guess the ending of the book I am reading was spoiled for me! Damn sometimes we just can’t control what we want to know. It can’t be prevented.

Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?

I just felt the need to write today about one of my recent life experiences. And because of it happening to me the way it did, it was all of a sudden, an extreme shift, and so powerful, all at once, like a rubber band releasing on a pull to come right at me. I had to tell my friends and the people close to me in my sphere, the people that I most look up to. And I guess the response I got was a little bit of a let down at least the two men at school who are my professors who I chatted with today.

I have been practicing law of attraction, love vibration, and getting in tune with nature. I meditate, I pray for those who I love and I feel love, I am love. It’s been getting stronger. I love Abraham Hicks, Vishin Lakhiani, and Bob Proctor and so many more. And this week I watched this YouTube video that I resonated with about the Holographic Universe from the “Quietest Revolution.” And then read some articles on Schumann’s resonance, by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had an awakening and realization about life, creation and manifestation. I haven’t been sleeping.

And I say this because at first I was afraid of my powers. For a long time I hated myself, I felt disconnected from God, and source energy and love. I have always believed in God since I was a young child, however did I really have faith and trust in God? I still felt that I needed to look for love outside of myself. I was destructive, constantly yearning to numb my pain, not knowing what real love was. I was never my true self, complete with my inner being, yet separated from it, in a battle with her for 6 months while Venus went into the underworld and black moon Lilith was in Scorpio last year.

And so through the destruction, as a Scorpio I am at home with this energy, I found the transformation and connection with God again. But with my Cancer AC and Pisces Moon, I have come into oneness with myself and my inner being, finally, here and now. I have been practicing and am feeling so much love, it’s this cup that is overflowing with joy, and love, and abundance in all things. This past week desires and requests have been manifesting in my life like crazy. Things that I couldn’t explain to anyone. Things that two men that I look up to can’t even make sense of after I tried to explain my experience.

And so I have been spending a lot of time in the vortex, or the other dimension. I’m ascending to a point to which I can’t come down from it when it happens, until it just happens in the early hours of the morning. I can learn to control this, by just not being in that vibrating place all of the time, and living in this moment. Maybe not being happy and sometimes frustrated, or listening to the radio at 440 hz. or just not using frequency too much. Still I am starting to feel the physical effects of all this manifestation. And perhaps you don’t get me or think I am crazy. I feel like I have always had a level head on reality, though. So if it could happen to me, don’t you think it could happen to you? I am a powerful creator and I heal myself and others by moving energy, and light, and holding a space for love. The possibilities are endless.

And so I will tell you some of the manifestations that I asked for this week and how they appeared to me. It was so dang cool. These are just a few.

I asked for a Cardinal to show up. It showed up that afternoon, and sang for me and my mom.

I asked for a question about chocolate that I wanted from a specific person. The next morning that was the first question my mom brought to my attention. I asked about someone “Taking me to Paris,” because I missed the Study Abroad deadline to go this summer and for the scholarship deadline for Fall. I asked that someone to offer to “Take me to Paris, France in the vortex, and I wanted it now! lol, because I stayed home, it wasn’t that person, but instead my mom wore her Old Navy Shirt that says, “Take me to Paris.”

But then I knew I would be back at school so I started asking for more to show me how good I am at this process. and Holy shiittt the requests to God and the Universe became more powerful.

I asked for someone to offer me a flower and tell me that I am beautiful. Well a student in one of my classes ended up telling a story about a homeless lady that sells flowers to people at my campus, because she is sick with cancer. How much more beauty can you ask for in that?

I asked for wonderful conversation and beauty and I got it today with all three of my professors and every lecture! I loved a student in one of my classes perspective on the Grapes of Wrath. I left feeling like he gave a powerful insight and I thanked him for this.

I asked the Universe for my professor to wear his Navy blue suit today, because that one is my favorite. He wore it today.

I asked for a sign that the love I am feeling for someone is true and real, and that he is feeling it, too. Because God, what is he doing to me? It’s so powerful and amazing.

It manifested itself in him reading the same quote from the novel we read. The song “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman,” wouldn’t stop playing in my head today, and I mean, I love Bryan Adams, but that song is random! When I saw him I couldn’t help sing it to myself. And I just can’t keep it in anymore, nervous laughter and constant sweating when I see him. And lolz my dress kept flying up today for no reason! I’m pretty sure my ass was exposed to half of the school because I wore a thong. Never again, thanks self-conscious awareness!!

I told one of my friends at school and a professor that I wanted to quit school after this semester and do something else. I told a professor that I wanted to go and travel to France this summer. That I am a spiritual healer, intuitive, psychic. I move energy, use light and have a powerful mind that this is my true soul’s purpose in this life. That I want to get married again and have another baby, because I know I have another daughter out there waiting for me to create her.

And after all of this, it got brought up again, what would you do if you quit school, became a bum and had endless possibilities and freedom to manifest every desire and every want? Especially if you were able to channel Jack Kerouac.

Because I love Beauty, Truth, and Honesty above all things, and I wouldn’t have written this if I didn’t feel that my life experience wasn’t all of these things.

Falling in love again

I have had an interesting past few months to say the least. Most people probably don’t want to know all the fine details. Today was kind of a shitty day, however I watched the video by the Quietest Revolution on YouTube and it was on point with what is going on in my life as a Scorpio. You should check it out.

I think I am going to allow myself to fall in love again, especially after all of the heartache I have gone through in my life. In meeting and growing and learning that I have done and not done, in this I have found knowing of what I want and in a love relationship. We as women often are taken for granted, unappreciated, and feel resentful when we are not loved. It is a two way street for sure, but I am going to allow for the person I love to come into my life now and give me kisses and spontaneous hugs. I am ready to love and be loved again. I am going to turn around the two of fire, and take on the world again.

#Solar Eclipse 2017

#Scorpio in Love

When you are in the worst of it-the light is always there.

Coming out of the darkness And realizing that through it, my rockets of desire are stronger. Realizing that it was the push in the right direction that I needed. Realizing that in the shit, I ask for help, and sometimes it is the only time that I do. Realizing that it is the only way I know what I want, to know what I don’t want. That only when I am in loss and pain can I truly understand joy and happiness. Can I only understand true humilty and love for myself and others. Can I only understand gratitude and the feeling of appreciation for what is. Can I only enjoy life to the fullest. Can I do what I was meant to do here. Can I do what is needed for others. Can I stick to my path. Can I be strong enough to continue on in this life alone–not giving up, but enduring and living more than I could have dreamed possible.