The girl you want versus the Girl you need.

The girl you want: she’s the one that sits on the pedestal, fiery and impassioned but easily containable. Unpredictable in the best of ways. You want her to improve your image and status you hold and project to the world. A girl you could introduce to your family. A girl you could show off to your buddies. One that may or may not give in to your sex drive and inescapable whims of sexual desire.
One that would give you endless freedom to explore and go on adventures or do just whatever it is that you do-when you want to do it. Not predicting or assuming that you’re in your exotic location with other women around the world. Not stressing at all? And that includes her not focusing on the outcome of your affair.
Not limiting yourself to choice or future possibilities or prospects of love. Always changing her mind and being flexible within “your” parameters. A girl that doesn’t ever embarrass you or spill your secrets to the world. She always says the right thing and puts your career ambitions above her own. Perhaps she is the one that must concede and change to fit your will. Sacrificing her time but never imposing on yours. She’s willing to give you the conventional conditions of the “American Dream.” You being the head of the household. You have two children together, maybe, or a previously divorced woman who has two already. And YOUR picket fence and luxury automobile (despite the high interest rate) in the driveway. You control the finances and determine just when you will try to get pregnant again with “your” child. A girl you could control and a girl to be controlled. Because you’re so out of control and need to feel that stability of a loyal woman in your bed.

The Girl you need: this girl is probably, most likely, not the one you want. She is quiet at the wrong times and speaks her mind in awkward times. She character assassinates when she feels it necessary; this is not without sound reason and well thought out prose. She is cynical and blunt with honesty. This stems from her need of justice and making the world a little bit better for everyone to live in, and if not that, it was sparked by something that hurt her and reminded her of her prior disappointments. This girl will never get knocked up without planning, no matter how hard she has tried. Both of her children from the broken marriage where conceived with the aid of fertility drugs. No unpredictability or excitement here. No potential entrapment of a lover. This girl would rather cling to you for all the hope of love you might give to her instead of allowing the possibility that you would leave her, break her heart or the worst of sins, love another. At the end of the day she would change and give herself too much, losing her complete identity in the relationship. She will cry when she doesn’t get her way and miss you terribly when you ignore her for days, months or years. She could be your best friend or your worstest enemy.
Her speaking of her mind might intimidate you, her ambitions and life experience might make you feel inferior. She might make you feel ashamed when she calls you out for any bullshit you put her through. She won’t forgive easily. If you lie or are inauthentic in any way, but especially just for the sake of boasting or bettering your image and place in society, she will try her best to cut through the false mask you are putting on. She won’t want to hurt you but she will tell you NO if something is wrong, and risk humiliating you if she feels that it will get the point across. She, too, needs alone time to be with herself and God. But she might just feel the need to annoy you with her tears, deep insecurities, and passionate feelings of love.

The reality: This is that we all want love and to be love. We both want to love. We’re both afraid to fall, hurt ourselves or one another. We fear disappointment and falling short—not being able to make the other happy. And maybe we value our own identities too much to be willing to risk loving someone else with all of their faults and imperfections. Yet.. we still have this burning passion inside us that longs to touch each other and penetrate to the core of one another’s being. That human contact and need. You yearn to have that someone to walk with and to hold your hand in public. I desire to have you in my bed at night, caressing me and loving me. And what more could we ask of someone when we are not willing to risk this of ourselves? That vulnerability, that commitment in a world that is impatient and discontent with the reality of what truly works in love.


Sagittarius Men and Scorpio Women Relationships: Going to Hell and Back

Anger and jealousy, passion and intensity, freedom and fighting, but so hot in the bedroom!! What is going on in these relationships?

Let’s stop pretending that any other sign gets a Scorpio. Even if they are a water heavy chart holder, Scorpio knows best and is the only one that should reveal a secret about our inner world.

It seems like the fire sign Male Sagittarius will never understand the intensity of the Scorpio woman and A Scorpion lady will never understand the Sagittarian men’s need for freedom and exploration. Perhaps the two could meld well together on another planet and create internal combustion.

But what happens when you are a Scorpio Female with Sagittarius on the Descendent and Capricorn in the 7th House? This is one of the most complicated aspects in my personal chart. It would seem that I constantly attract fire signs to myself and not even intentionally. It’s like they seek me out and think that they want to take a crack at it, but they end up getting way more than they expected and can’t handle my extreme emotions and intense feelings. Sagittarius men and women have been in numerous friendships and relationships in my life, and while a lot of them still remain friends with me, it is usually from a distance. I end up getting too hurt and tend to shut down the relationship, preferring to distance myself from the pain and humiliation that they have caused me with their flighty, backstabbing behaviors. I put Sagittarian’s flame out with my emotions and my vindictive sting hurts!

I have one good friend that is a Sagittarius female, and we are friends from a distance, never really having a close intimate friendship like I crave and want. Another one of my relationships went to shit after a negative conversation about my parenting skills, and after that it was like I couldn’t let it down (in my mind). I forgave her, but her flighty behavior and criticisms ruined any chance for me to ever trust her again. Being a Scorpio woman in this lifetime has been a difficult task for me. I have such strong Plutonian energy that it feels as if I either scare people away, or they just don’t understand me. What’s more, I really crave interpersonal connection and relationships. But more and more of the time I end up feeling lonely and wondering what I did wrong and don’t understand why I can’t seem to have the relationship I so want with another. I can’t help but take things personally. I guess that is just how I am made.

I am writing this because I know there are a lot of other Scorpio women out there that feel the same way in relationships with others and at times finding themselves in relationships that just seem plain difficult. I don’t even know why. Perhaps there is some other difficult aspect in our charts but doubtful. It’s like that wonderful song called “Issues” by Julia Michaels (another Scorpio female). “I’m jealous, I’m over zealous, when I’m high I get real high, when I’m down I get real down.”

I think I will just spend some more time in the depths of hell. I am comfortable there and it’s become a real sanctuary, as it’s so familiar. I’m naming my next daughter “Persephone” and Percy for short.

Pluto has wreaked his havoc while transiting my 7th house of partnerships for the past 10 years. In this time prior to this transit, my Uranus was conjunct Pluto on the descendant in the 6th house, which is when I first married at 19 to a Sagittarian male. As Pluto went through this house, every partnership in my life was practically destroyed, some were renewed and others just went away. I now am 1 degree away from Pluto entering my 8th house in August. I am not sure what the future holds. I am still waiting in the ashes for my transformation in my relationships. Saturn will also be having his return in December in my house of Partnerships and I am unsure of how this will play out. I have been feeling the urge to get married again, although some days when I read Facebook posts on the guy I am interested in, I second guess myself in why I even like him (He is also a Sagittarius.) And I wonder mostly am I doomed in my relationships to constantly struggle? To be alone for the rest of my life, uncommitted to anyone, because let’s face it, Sagittarians are known to promise more than they can deliver, end up lying to a Scorpio, (or at least from her perspective). (Half-truths are the same as lies in our eyes) and are typically high in the Infidelity, which is a cardinal sin in the Eyes of Scorpio! The problems in my first marriage were so numerous and I have just recently come to terms with some of them. Facing my fears as they all were brought to the surface for me to re-evaluate as Pluto has gone retrograde this summer. It dawned on me that it doesn’t even matter what is true anymore, even though Sagittarians love the truth, they can spin any story to their benefit and spread lies and gossip worse than any other sign I have ever met. It doesn’t even matter that I am an honest individual and see through the bull shit. I will never change the fact that I know what is real. I have that intuitive—depth– perception that sees the challenge and conflict right in the eye. My lie detector is so dead on and yet I keep wondering.. where is my happy ending?

Are You Balanced or a Stage 5 Clinger?

A perfect love relationship scenario on what not to do is from one of my favorite movies, Wedding Crashers. Let’s stop pretending not to care and distance ourselves from the men we love. So I am referring to Gloria and Jeremy’s relationship in this analogy because Gloria is a “Stage 5 Clinger” female. In a lot ways I can see why women act this way and in her movie it actually works out between her and Jeremy.. so what’s the problem?

I guess I don’t know, really other than it turns a lot of men off from what I can see .. in my personal experience. But then again, if he is meant to be.. nothing will push him away for long. I’ve read quite a few relationship books. The usual self help section for hopeless romantics. What to do and what not to do in relationships. I think though, honestly, that relationship advice is super subjective. How can one know how to act in a relationship when all relationships are different? We meet in different scenarios, for example, we are told to meet in a specific area, or to marry someone within a certain category, or our parents set us up on a date with someone they think we should be with.

But what about Romantic Love? Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and the Holy Grail of love? Is Chivalry and King Arthur’s idea of Romantic Love dead and just a Pie in the Sky? Will relationships between males and females stand the test of time? Can we all have our Fairytale ending with our one true love? Who says men can’t love a Stage 5 clinger like Gloria. A man that is an adventurer who runs as fast as he can at the first sign of clingy behavior? Can we truly love someone that won’t even talk to us? I suppose if you’ve watched enough romantic sob movies like Love Actually, it is possible. Are we all hopelessly doomed to never understand that Love is everywhere and in everything and that it is not always the same for everyone?

We can’t just read a relationship column or a book like, “Why do men Marry Bitches?” and “Always a Bridesmaid Never A Bride” and assume that this advice will somehow magically pertain to our situation or our love life.

I mean don’t we all come with baggage? Don’t we all lose our balance, our equilibrium, our alignment? Don’t we all fall in and out of love and run away from our problems? Don’t we all, at times, feel hopelessly lost in love. And in the short term, at times, lose faith and trust in it when our men walk away from us? Don’t we all inherently know that the love is never lost? Yet still we can act like Gloria, clingy. Hoping, and praying that our men won’t leave, even though this is the fastest way to lose him and keep him gone longer than you will ever know. It’s even worse when it’s flip flopped and the man is doing this to you.

What’s worse is this whole “Love Game.” Or knowing exactly what you are doing as you are doing it, but somehow you just can’t control the urge. It’s like,, you wish that you could be this distant lover holding him on the line..making him want you more…like all those other guys that you ignore and don’t really, really, love. The ones that constantly bug you to go out on dates with them and you just don’t answer. Hoping and wishing that the one you love will wake up and realize that he’s the only one you want. But I suppose this is all how you know you’ve fallen, when you’ve turned into a Stage 5 Clinger and act like a Crazy Fool waiting on the line.

Cinderella Dresses and Sweet Bees: How I know I love you. For my lover.

Today I was sitting there and it’s just like, I can’t control it anymore. I love you.

And it’s just these words that I want to tell you.

The words like Manifest and Destiny, and Love, and Losing Control in your Gaze.

That male gaze, My God it gets me going.

You are Fresh, you are MIA, I am a bright young college kid, it might as well be me, baby.

You’re unbaked now, you’re undone. Yeah I know you were high. Done being drunk, tired and stressed? Done being alone?

You’re afraid you will lose control if we are alone together, you’re that hot, sexy nervous sweating around me. I love that about you. It’s how I know you love me, it’s how I know I love you. Because I am tangled up in your desire. Flower

And should I post my theories on my blog? These energies change daily. And how do I know if I will have a girl or a boy with you? I only know if I am with you, because you will decide. Why does the male get to choose the gender of the baby? Because males have the ability to shoot the canon with their y or x chromosome.

And my great- grandma with her corn cob pipe told me so, she told me she is Comanche. She is a warrior princess queen. When you spoke those words of beauty and long hair, and her appearing as a white buffalo woman today with her visions of the future, it’s how I knew you were singing to me. That white buffalo woman came and sang for you and for me. White Buffalo woman goes singing. And I’m your Destiny’s Darling. I don’t ever want to leave you, I want you to protect me. Yeah, I’m so hot for you and only you.

What’s to be done with all of this passion and spark and fire? I  think it’s time we got together, I think it’s time we make our baby girl. You come and get your love.

It’s these Cinderella dresses that I buy to wear at The Phantom of the Opera, it’s the bees that suck the nectar from the center of the orange blossom. When April is ripe with rain, May will come to stay. May, oh, she will come to stay.

April Come She Will

I heard the song last night by Simon and Garfunkel, “April Come She Will.” I know this is my daughter. I get messages in sound, music, and pictures, and visions and feelings.

A few nights ago, I went into the vortex and discovered my Akashic Record. I transcended the Earth plane, and this dimension.

I saw my soul’s purpose in this lifetime.

I know who I will marry, who I am going to marry.

I know that I am going to be an example for others, a leader, a speaker, a teacher.

I know I am going to have another baby girl, her name is April, she will be an Aries. She is one of the reasons I have come into this lifetime. To give birth to her. My God she is beautiful! She will be the next evolution of humanity, she will be an evolved human being that will surpass all and any understanding, knowledge that I  or him could ever learn in a lifetime. She is a manifestation and a symbol of the coming generation that will inhabit this earth.

I saw my new baby nephew, he is beautiful and smiley and looks just like my baby picture at 3 months. He is due May 1st, 2017.


I keep having these visions of babies, and pregnancies, and I just can’t even. They are dancing in my head.

Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?

I just felt the need to write today about one of my recent life experiences. And because of it happening to me the way it did, it was all of a sudden, an extreme shift, and so powerful, all at once, like a rubber band releasing on a pull to come right at me. I had to tell my friends and the people close to me in my sphere, the people that I most look up to. And I guess the response I got was a little bit of a let down at least the two men at school who are my professors who I chatted with today.

I have been practicing law of attraction, love vibration, and getting in tune with nature. I meditate, I pray for those who I love and I feel love, I am love. It’s been getting stronger. I love Abraham Hicks, Vishin Lakhiani, and Bob Proctor and so many more. And this week I watched this YouTube video that I resonated with about the Holographic Universe from the “Quietest Revolution.” And then read some articles on Schumann’s resonance, by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had an awakening and realization about life, creation and manifestation. I haven’t been sleeping.

And I say this because at first I was afraid of my powers. For a long time I hated myself, I felt disconnected from God, and source energy and love. I have always believed in God since I was a young child, however did I really have faith and trust in God? I still felt that I needed to look for love outside of myself. I was destructive, constantly yearning to numb my pain, not knowing what real love was. I was never my true self, complete with my inner being, yet separated from it, in a battle with her for 6 months while Venus went into the underworld and black moon Lilith was in Scorpio last year.

And so through the destruction, as a Scorpio I am at home with this energy, I found the transformation and connection with God again. But with my Cancer AC and Pisces Moon, I have come into oneness with myself and my inner being, finally, here and now. I have been practicing and am feeling so much love, it’s this cup that is overflowing with joy, and love, and abundance in all things. This past week desires and requests have been manifesting in my life like crazy. Things that I couldn’t explain to anyone. Things that two men that I look up to can’t even make sense of after I tried to explain my experience.

And so I have been spending a lot of time in the vortex, or the other dimension. I’m ascending to a point to which I can’t come down from it when it happens, until it just happens in the early hours of the morning. I can learn to control this, by just not being in that vibrating place all of the time, and living in this moment. Maybe not being happy and sometimes frustrated, or listening to the radio at 440 hz. or just not using frequency too much. Still I am starting to feel the physical effects of all this manifestation. And perhaps you don’t get me or think I am crazy. I feel like I have always had a level head on reality, though. So if it could happen to me, don’t you think it could happen to you? I am a powerful creator and I heal myself and others by moving energy, and light, and holding a space for love. The possibilities are endless.

And so I will tell you some of the manifestations that I asked for this week and how they appeared to me. It was so dang cool. These are just a few.

I asked for a Cardinal to show up. It showed up that afternoon, and sang for me and my mom.

I asked for a question about chocolate that I wanted from a specific person. The next morning that was the first question my mom brought to my attention. I asked about someone “Taking me to Paris,” because I missed the Study Abroad deadline to go this summer and for the scholarship deadline for Fall. I asked that someone to offer to “Take me to Paris, France in the vortex, and I wanted it now! lol, because I stayed home, it wasn’t that person, but instead my mom wore her Old Navy Shirt that says, “Take me to Paris.”

But then I knew I would be back at school so I started asking for more to show me how good I am at this process. and Holy shiittt the requests to God and the Universe became more powerful.

I asked for someone to offer me a flower and tell me that I am beautiful. Well a student in one of my classes ended up telling a story about a homeless lady that sells flowers to people at my campus, because she is sick with cancer. How much more beauty can you ask for in that?

I asked for wonderful conversation and beauty and I got it today with all three of my professors and every lecture! I loved a student in one of my classes perspective on the Grapes of Wrath. I left feeling like he gave a powerful insight and I thanked him for this.

I asked the Universe for my professor to wear his Navy blue suit today, because that one is my favorite. He wore it today.

I asked for a sign that the love I am feeling for someone is true and real, and that he is feeling it, too. Because God, what is he doing to me? It’s so powerful and amazing.

It manifested itself in him reading the same quote from the novel we read. The song “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman,” wouldn’t stop playing in my head today, and I mean, I love Bryan Adams, but that song is random! When I saw him I couldn’t help sing it to myself. And I just can’t keep it in anymore, nervous laughter and constant sweating when I see him. And lolz my dress kept flying up today for no reason! I’m pretty sure my ass was exposed to half of the school because I wore a thong. Never again, thanks self-conscious awareness!!

I told one of my friends at school and a professor that I wanted to quit school after this semester and do something else. I told a professor that I wanted to go and travel to France this summer. That I am a spiritual healer, intuitive, psychic. I move energy, use light and have a powerful mind that this is my true soul’s purpose in this life. That I want to get married again and have another baby, because I know I have another daughter out there waiting for me to create her.

And after all of this, it got brought up again, what would you do if you quit school, became a bum and had endless possibilities and freedom to manifest every desire and every want? Especially if you were able to channel Jack Kerouac.

Because I love Beauty, Truth, and Honesty above all things, and I wouldn’t have written this if I didn’t feel that my life experience wasn’t all of these things.

Falling in love again

I have had an interesting past few months to say the least. Most people probably don’t want to know all the fine details. Today was kind of a shitty day, however I watched the video by the Quietest Revolution on YouTube and it was on point with what is going on in my life as a Scorpio. You should check it out.

I think I am going to allow myself to fall in love again, especially after all of the heartache I have gone through in my life. In meeting and growing and learning that I have done and not done, in this I have found knowing of what I want and in a love relationship. We as women often are taken for granted, unappreciated, and feel resentful when we are not loved. It is a two way street for sure, but I am going to allow for the person I love to come into my life now and give me kisses and spontaneous hugs. I am ready to love and be loved again. I am going to turn around the two of fire, and take on the world again.

#Solar Eclipse 2017

#Scorpio in Love

My Future Husband

My hands are small and fit into yours perfectly.

Before I ever saw you I knew that you would be something special and different.

I knew you from a space and time prior to this present reality

That we would just know.

Many times I have been deceived on my journey into thinking he was you, but I have waited,

Anticipation for your touch,

You have already taught me patience, and lessons like no other could.

You are that significant, that it lets me know you are my future husband,

Last night I had the dream of you, it was so vivid and real, not only proposing like the one the week prior, but of you saying your vows to me and smiling in front of our friends and family.

Your presence has been unmatched to any before you, we are so psychically connected

And all its magic, my prayers have been answered.

Though I know you have been sick and wondering where I stand,

Yes I do, I want to take care of you, too.

©Molly Farr